Writer's block. Building blocks. New Kids on the Block. Jenny from The Block.
I have experience with all of these, but there is one more block that trips me up: Blockage.
Blockage is when you know you need to do something and you not only feel within you a great desire to avoid something. Now, this differs from not wanting to do laundry or write a paper. Those are task that few souls enjoy and it's obvious as to why they would be avoided. Blockage refers to the tasks that aren't that heavy or laden with negativity, but your psyche or subconscious are strongly adverse to completing.
Let's get personal. About 4 years ago I let someone put a ring on my finger... I won't say I shouldn't have or that I regret it because it was part of a path that lead me here and I am one happy little lady... However, I will say that we were definitely not meant to be together. I won't presume to speak for him, but I know I wish him well and learned a lot. Now, during this whole proposal, I did what every bride-to-be does and planned a wedding. I even found "The Perfect Dress" (Yes, that's a link to see it. I need my reader emotionally involved!). Yeah, well now this "perfect dress" has been hanging in my closet (on two sides of this country, nonetheless) for over 3 years and it's time to say goodbye. I have changed, my body has changed, my heart has changed... and even though the dress is gorgeous and in perfect condition, I can't seem to wrap my head around putting it on and strolling down the isle to... anyone. Time to sell. Time to sell... tomorrow. Oh, or Thursday after I have coffee with Amanda. Well, Friday I want to finish painting that multimedia piece... Whoa. Wait, why the hell am I making excuses? I need that money to finish my schooling, which will propel me into a place I have wanted to be for a decade. I need to not have a reminder of the past and an unhealthy relationship hanging next to my favorite blazer. Why then, self, are you not throwing that bad boy on a billboard and laughing all the way to the bank? Simple. We cannot just sell shit and not deal with the issue. We know, in our core of cores, that when we sell the perfect dress, update the dreaded résumé, or finally catch up with someone we have been 'meaning to call' that we are, in fact, addressing an issue... Whether we want to or not. Updating your résumé means you have to think about your future, explain your past, justify your actions, and put yourself out there. It's change. Catching up with someone (the relationship determines a lot, here) means you have to figure out why you weren't spending more time together or chatting, explain yourself, possibly apologize, and update another person about your Pinterest projects or listen to their potty training stories.
Selling my former would-be wedding dress was a little different. You would think it would be difficult because it was saying "goodbye" to him, our former would-be future, etc... However, it was more about the value of the dress. My ex and I have no unfinished business, but I do value that dress because it was a beautiful time in my life and I hold it at a value where money doesn't touch it. However, since I cannot buy a plane ticket with emotions and I don't need an expensive dress I can't wear anywhere to remind me of the lessons I have learned, out she goes.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
-Wayne Dyer
You have to want to move past these issues. It's like working out; you dread going to the gym and have a thousand excuses, however while you are working out you can actually feel the improvement in your mindset, you become proud of yourself, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Afterwards, you feel fantastic and you see a change (just go with me on that one...).
Remember when I challenged you? (If not, click on it and read it. I double dare you...) Well, consider this challenge numero dos.
Write down a 'To Do' list. List everything from household chores to errands to things you have been meaning to do. Then highlight the really specific ones you aren't looking forward to doing. That in itself is a huge step... Give yourself a cookie. Just one, dude...
Now, turn your paper over and write why each one is something you aren't looking forward to doing. This is facing your blocks. Now, look at yourself in the mirror and yell and wave the paper around a lot... "What? It's COLD?! You don't want to run because it's a little chilly? Pansy*!" Then, realize that all that wasn't necessary, but sometimes you have to change where you are sitting to see something from another angle. Ask yourself, "Why is this so difficult for me? Why am I putting it off?"
If you can't get over it, get around it.
*Note: Anyone who knows me knows I have much more... colorful language skills. I will allow you to adjust for your own level of comfort. Go to where you are comfortable, and then turn it up 3 notches. Yeah, scare yourself with foul language.
Challenge yourself, people! You are the product of a bajillion years of evolution... Act like it.
I listed my dress, I updated my résumé, I went outside while it was cold, I waved my paper and yelled in the mirror, I even wrote a few notes to send love and catch up to some folks from days-gone-by as a gesture to you, my readers. I cannot, in good faith, ask you to do something I have not or will not. Now, someone buy my wedding dress, please.
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. -Frederick Douglass
xx.a
