Monday, March 25, 2013

amie the drunken mermaid: jalapeños, tattoos, & the big bang

Think about this: What is the point of a date? An interview? A pilot episode? To capture attention, to enthrall, and to see that spark. I'm asking you to do that very thing: spark with me. I ask you to read my soul and flick your eyes through the revelations and products of soul-searching. In turn, I ask that you be kind- agree or disagree- in your words. I will not tolerate hate here, but I will not censor you. Leave your message, but be bold and leave your name with it... Stand behind what you say. I also ask that you get to know me.

Hi, I'm Amie.

I'd rather be barefoot and pantsless always. I still love shoes. The bigger the cup of coffee the better, but I have a love affair with tea. I have a hard time picking my favorite season, color, or food. My passion knows no bounds, nor do I want it to. I think languages are fascinating and sexy. Travel is my pornography.

I am the most dichotomous person I know. I'm torn between the way the experienced pages of a book smell and the iPad that allows me to load dozens of books into my purse and just go. I live in my jeans and soft t-shirts, yet wait with baited breath for a chance to strut in my hot pink heels or red carpet gown. I could easily leave those clothes on the floor and spend the day naked and between the sheets watching my favorite movies, however, I relish those days I'm up and in "Producer Mode" and my to-do list doesn't stand a chance.

I paint my emotions, draw my decision making, sing my mood, write my purpose, and teach my desire.

I get off on helping people. My favorite outfit on a man is a white t-shirt and jeans. I am a dog person through and through. I used to be afraid of fire extinguishers. My superhero power would be either flight or mind reading. Ok, it's really flight. I'm naturally auburn- no, that is not red, people. I aspire to be a part of the Century Club... I'm on 11. I feel sexiest walking around the house in a men's button down shirt and boy shorts. Yeah, I still feel sexy in a little black dress. Bubble bath + champagne = bliss. I'm obsessed with kissing. I'm a lady.

Nothing is sexier than when someone makes me laugh. I think it should be mandatory to take and pass a social etiquette class before graduating high school. I always jump at the chance to make someone's dream come true. I have a knack for dating a guy right before he finds the girl of his dreams. I get excited very easily. Sriracha on everything. Once I'm disenchanted, it is a done deal. I only rap Caucasianally. I'm a sapiosexual.

I am by far my own harshest critic, yet my loved ones' opinions matter more than they probably should. Sometimes I cry at commercials and don't care who knows it. Celebrities don't make me nervous, but published writers do. So do abnormally beautiful women. I detest the mere existence of oranges and all their little citrusy relatives. My list of guilty pleasures is far too long. I'm super protective of my friends, and if you hurt them, I'll carve a three syllable word in your leg.

I think hands are one of the most telling parts of a human being. I'm a sucker for a charming smile. I believe clichés are crutches. I love getting carried away. I think the human body is pure magic. I believe in the power of the human mind. Manifesting has become a way of life for me. Sometimes I forget to breathe. I think thumbs are fascinating. Those "Faith in Humankind: Restored" memes make me cry. My childhood dream jobs included: photo journalist, dancer, Queen, mermaid. I'd still like to try photo journalism. I would also like to try the mermaid thing...

I walk a fine line between philanthropist and pushover. I've always wanted my motorcycle license, but have have been hesitant after having lost friends to them. I have almost no desire to bungee jump, but might be persuaded to under the lines of LOTY*. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than settle or cause someone else to settle. I was born without a filter and don't give half a damn. I make movies in my head constantly. The one statement that has rendered me speechless in my life was as follows:

"Amie, when I am with you it's like being drunk: I have the time of my life, it's a fun filled, sexy haze, and in the morning... It's all a memory I could never hold onto."

So, I'm whiskey. I am a night owl. Sunsets always win, but I still love a good sunrise. I love my tattoos and I love tattoos on others. I took my parents to get their first tattoos this year. My Bucket List is weird, getting weirder, and I love it immensely. I'm allergic to Jäger. Tequila and I don't speak, but once a year we get together and have hate sex. I look forward to movie marathons like the guys on The Big Bang Theory. If you don't get that reference we can't be friends.

My idea of a perfect mate is someone I want to tell everything to and can trust with everything. I want to have a teammate standing by my side. It's harder for me to commit to a place than a person. Cleaning is my therapy. When I'm happy I dance on the inside. i am a gypsy spirit. I love to cook, don't like emptying the dishwasher, and hate taking out the trash. I do not understand people who run marathons on purpose. Jalapeños on everything.

Above all... I believe in love.

Nice to meet you.

xx.a

*LOTY= Life of the Yes, derived originally from "Year of the Yes" when on November 6, 2010 I committed to saying "Yes" to everything physically and financially possible for one year. I found a new purpose in life and now subscribe to saying "Yes" to life. Book to follow.