learn from a baby: do not have a wishbone

Whether we remember it or not, we all learned to walk at some point in our lives by putting one fat, little foot in front of the other at a time. Before We did that, however, we had to find the catalyst for our endeavor.

We, as infants, sit there on our diaper-clad bottoms and crane our necks around to see what is going on and what we can find. We then either let out a gut-wrenching wail, signifying we want something and it should be delivered to us immediately, or the consequences are deafening... Or we roll defiantly onto our Buddha belly and manage to slither over to our holy grail and pull on shit til something happens. For a child, whom is learning everything for the first time, this is not only acceptable, but it is the norm. For an adult, however, I implore those who can find the connection in my metaphor: Have you no legs to stand upon?

As our infants selves find, after a while, that we are indeed tired of banging our knees on hardwood floors and using our hands for movement and support, when they should be used for grasping and exploring. We begin to pull ourselves upwards for a clearer view and more efficient approach to our world. It's amazing what you can see when you choose to stand and rise above the mess. We realize that the bottoms of our fet enjoy the fuzzy carpet or cool tiles of our home and, shortly thereafter, we learn that they desire the rough texture of the sidewalk or the warmth of the asphalt after a long Summer's day. Our hands, we find, never miss the weight of our bodies and our necks do not long for the crick they develop from always straining to look upwards. It is in this moment, when standing upright and seeing the brighter side of things, that we look down at our chubby toes and think, "These tools are mine." and we begin to imagine the possibilities.

Granted, everyone thinks differently, and we may not all see our feet as tools... Unless you're a chimpanzee, in which case I applaud your reading abilities and would like to have coffee with you. Or a banana shake. Some of us never realize what tools we have in our arsenal, we merely lie there, drooling on ourselves and whimper until someone coddles us and assumes we shat ourselves. This, dear reader, is not the existence I choose. (Especially the part about soiling myself.). I choose, not by default, to stand and to see if my tattooed feet can carry me to where I want to be and what I want to do. Alright, world. I'm standing. Now what? If you try to begin running full force towards your destination, you will without a doubt find your muscles aren't ready and your balance is off. Your arms may or may not protect your sweet, chubby cheeks from the dog toys on the floor as you face plant three steps after you take off. Chill out. Take a deep breath, focus on balancing, ignore the TV and the vacuum cleaner, and just take one step. "One step at a time" is one of the best pieces of advice offered and one of the most ignored and underappreciated at the same time.

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains.-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Babies are the perfect analogy for anyone trying to make a change in their life. It's hard. It's new. It's a risk. It definitely isn't something someone can do for you. If I could wish anything for those who are looking for that "Dare to Be Great" situation, it is to not have a wishbone where your backbone should be. Babies get up off their cute little asses, climb on shit they shouldn't, and literally push themselves to their limits. Adults look like pansies next to babies! Yes, there is that element of danger, but as we grow and learn, we are able to make intelligent judgement calls (doesn't mean all adults choose to exercise this ability...) and yet we find ourselves "playing it safe" more and more... Or, as I like to call it, "playing it scared". What a mediocre existence.

If you are wanting to change your life, find yourself sitting at the same desk staring at the same reports and doing the same shit, and you want to change it: Do it. Scared? Start with one step. If you really need to ease into it, read my last blog entry about daring yourself and start shaking things up. If you think you are actually ready to start, follow these steps:

1. Make a complete list of things that excite you/make you happy.
2. Make a complete list of shit you hate in/about your life.
3. Keep List #1.
4. Destroy everything on list #2.
5. Destroy List #2.

Whew. Work is hard. Ok, so maaaaaaaybe there are a few things on List #2 that might be difficult to get rid of; like perhaps your job. Please refer to List #1 and find something you love and are excited about and figure out a way to make money doing it for a living. There is absolutely nothing more incredible than feeling excited to go to work because you love it so much. You'll work harder, do a better job, be happier, have better sex, sleep better, and look better because of it. Trust me, I'm a scientist.

I am so confident in that last paragraph that I will even issue a dare:

Post your lists on this blog post (or email them to me) and I will help you figure out ways to be happier, even if only the first step.

Yes, I know, things aren't always black and white... Shit gets complicated. That does not mean that you are stuck! I have a friend who is unhappy in her marriage, and she wants to leave her husband, but cannot seem to do so. I will leave her details private, regardless of her anonymity, I want to respect her. However, every time we speak, I cannot help but battle fiercely the urge to hand her my sword and encourage her to fight this inner war. She isn't ready. She must first walk, before she slays a dragon. So I told her to find her balance, look at her feet, and take one step. She has made her lists. She is focusing on List #1 and slowly dismantling List #2. I proceeded with this process in November of 2010, and have never been happier. List #2 (R.I.P.) is long gone and my List #1 is bright and shiny. I was waddling around my proverbial living room for a year before I reached up, opened the front door, and stepped outside onto the cool, freshly cut grass and allowed myself to be enveloped by the world. You have to have the will to take that first step before you can do anything.

xx.a