Are you a Romantic or a Realist?
I pride myself on having spent many moons in the depths of both lands. I once resided so deep in the forest of Realism that I begin to wonder if I have lost my mind, much like the movie 'Inception', and had become cynical and jaded. I basked in the unadulterated glory of the sun of Romanticism that I feared burning my retinas and never seeing clearly again. I am pleased to report that I believe I survived both exposures, in spite of their duration and adverse effects on the ol' ticker.
I decided to delve into each respective philosophy and figure out what it is that is keeping me awake at night and answer these questions:
1. Are the presentations of Realism & Romanticism skewed, respectively, and does this affect our perception of the philosophies?
2. Are they mutually exclusive? Mutually beneficial?
3. Can I be both?
ro·man·ti·cism
[roh-man-tuh-siz-uh
m] –noun
[roh-man-tuh-siz-uhm]
m]1. Characterized by a heightened interest in nature, emphasis on the individuals expression of emotion and imagination, departure from the attitudes and forms of classicism, and rebellion
against established social rules and conventions.
re·al·ism
[ree-uh-liz-uhm]
m] –noun
1. Interest in/concern for the actual or real, as distinguished from the abstract, speculative, etc.
2. The tendency to view or represent things as they really are.
3. The doctrine that universals have a real objective existence.
4. The doctrine that objects of sense perception have an existence independent of the act of perception.
Romanticism is often classified as "unreasonable, irrational, unrealistic, fantasy" etc. I chose the above definition, after a fair amount of searching, because it is the least threatening to the spirit of the movement. This definition is complimentary, whereas others, such as, "Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious" denotes a complete lack of credibility and leaves little magnetism [cue: irony]. I see little to nothing wrong with allowing the poetry of life to enhance each of our respective lifetimes here on the third rock from the sun.
Realism, conversely, denotes a purely logical approach to life. Who wouldn't be a realist? It's silly to live in La La Land like a Romantic. Terms like "Really are" and "Actual" insinuate indirectly that Romanticism is ridiculous and should be left on stage at high school graduation. Grow up, Amie. You cannot possibly be a romantic. You have years and years of education, have been in the work force for over a decade and have had enough heartbreak to carry you through two lifetimes!
Oh, but then there is that little line about "existence independent of perception". Shit. That actually makes sense. Is that where the beauty- raw as it may be- of Realism lies? How very He's Just Not That Into You... "Stop superimposing your self-developed ideals and fantasies into reality... It is what it is." Oh, bite me. Life is far too short to be an extremist and even shorter when you consider that not one person on this bloody planet- experts of all sorts included- knows what in the blazes they are doing. We are all stumbling through this life, even those who know infinitely more than the rest, and all we can do is love and learn every single day. That being said, since we don't know exactly what reality is, nor are we experts in perception or presentation of self, we most likely are screwing something up. Oh, that's reality.
Enter: Romanticism. Realism says, "He didn't call, he's not into you." Romanticism says, "He got busy... he's nervous...he's waiting 6 days like 'Swingers'..." Often times individuals- especially women, by gender role- tend to bury their heads in the [romantic] sand in hopes that Realism won't wander by and smack them upside the head. A crutch is unnecessary, ladies and gentlemen, just take a deep breath and one step forward at a time. We need balance in our lives, that is undeniable. What is often forgotten is that the balance is respective to each individual person. Male and female gender roles may play a part in generalities, but over all I find that the soul needs to be fed what it needs to be fed. My soul needs both.
Therefore I have composed two short letters to each respective movement, in hopes that one day, if I am a really good girl, Santa Clause will bring me what I wish for.
3. The doctrine that universals have a real objective existence.
4. The doctrine that objects of sense perception have an existence independent of the act of perception.
Romanticism is often classified as "unreasonable, irrational, unrealistic, fantasy" etc. I chose the above definition, after a fair amount of searching, because it is the least threatening to the spirit of the movement. This definition is complimentary, whereas others, such as, "Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious" denotes a complete lack of credibility and leaves little magnetism [cue: irony]. I see little to nothing wrong with allowing the poetry of life to enhance each of our respective lifetimes here on the third rock from the sun.
Realism, conversely, denotes a purely logical approach to life. Who wouldn't be a realist? It's silly to live in La La Land like a Romantic. Terms like "Really are" and "Actual" insinuate indirectly that Romanticism is ridiculous and should be left on stage at high school graduation. Grow up, Amie. You cannot possibly be a romantic. You have years and years of education, have been in the work force for over a decade and have had enough heartbreak to carry you through two lifetimes!
Oh, but then there is that little line about "existence independent of perception". Shit. That actually makes sense. Is that where the beauty- raw as it may be- of Realism lies? How very He's Just Not That Into You... "Stop superimposing your self-developed ideals and fantasies into reality... It is what it is." Oh, bite me. Life is far too short to be an extremist and even shorter when you consider that not one person on this bloody planet- experts of all sorts included- knows what in the blazes they are doing. We are all stumbling through this life, even those who know infinitely more than the rest, and all we can do is love and learn every single day. That being said, since we don't know exactly what reality is, nor are we experts in perception or presentation of self, we most likely are screwing something up. Oh, that's reality.
Enter: Romanticism. Realism says, "He didn't call, he's not into you." Romanticism says, "He got busy... he's nervous...he's waiting 6 days like 'Swingers'..." Often times individuals- especially women, by gender role- tend to bury their heads in the [romantic] sand in hopes that Realism won't wander by and smack them upside the head. A crutch is unnecessary, ladies and gentlemen, just take a deep breath and one step forward at a time. We need balance in our lives, that is undeniable. What is often forgotten is that the balance is respective to each individual person. Male and female gender roles may play a part in generalities, but over all I find that the soul needs to be fed what it needs to be fed. My soul needs both.
Therefore I have composed two short letters to each respective movement, in hopes that one day, if I am a really good girl, Santa Clause will bring me what I wish for.
Dear Realism,
Please help me to not get my hopes up and expect too much from people; both as a societal whole and as individuals in our relationships. Please remind me daily that I need to work hard, as no one is going to give me what I want or take care of me for the rest of my life. Please help me to see shit coming that I might normally be to head-in-the-clouds to foresee & the calmness to navigate the situation rationally. Oh, and a decent 401k.
Regards,
Amie
And now, it's counterpart:
Dearest, Sweet Romanticism...
Please help me to travel the world (without breaking the bank, of course) and complete my bucket list before I am too old to read it. Please help me to keep my girly figure (while not obsessing over every meal, of course) and have as little physical change over the next 40 years as possible. Please let me live without regret (while learning from my mistakes, of course) and keep all of my friends (while making new ones, of course) close and loved. Most importantly, please help me to find someone to fall deeply in love with someone who I can be myself with (who has the same goals/core beliefs, of course) to share my life with. Please let them be kind, caring, considerate, trustworthy, honest, loving, compassionate, generous, hopeful, smart and driven (but modest, of course). Please let that person appreciate me, life & all the blessings around them (without being too soft, of course). Please let every day be an adventure, let each night be a celebration of sorts and let each beautiful moment be appreciated.
All my love and gratitude,
Amie Ann
Satire aside, I don't see anything wrong with allowing the soul to reside in both categories. We all go through stages in our lives and shouldn't we allow ourselves to adjust our personal philosophies as we adjust our diets, musical tastes and views on the world? Call me a "Romantic Realist", if you must, but I have come to the official decision that I am both. I am a Realist in that I know that Murphy's Law is a very real thing, that relationships take equal effort on both parts & that I can no longer eat a cheeseburger and not work out. I am a Romantic in that if I put enough good energy out there that I might actually catch a break, that I will find someone to be weird with for the rest of my life & that I will still eat a cheeseburger, but skipping the escalator in favor of the stairs will make a difference. I feel like I have found my balance (or as close as I can come to it at this point in my life) with the star crossed lovers... Yes, Realism can exist without the immediate effects of Romanticism, and vice versa, however would anyone really want them to? They need not be mutually exclusive, though. I am sure, dear reader, that you are thinking to yourself, "Shit, I forgot my coffee on the counter!" But after that you are assuring yourself, "This is the Romantic in Amie, believing Romanticism & Realism can co-exist in someone peacefully". Sorry to disappoint, but even the Realist in me knows that if you focus on the strengths of each entity, you can become a stronger, better and more passionate version of yourself! Figure out which version of yourself- the Romantic or the Realist- is better with each respective situation (relationships, work, adventure, etc.) and let them take the reigns. Of course, it never hurts to let the other do a little backseat driving....
I hope for the best, but prepare for the worst... I vow to myself to make the best of everything.
"Realism...has no more to do with reality than anything else." -Hob Broun
"There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle." -Albert Einstein
xx.a
I thoroughly enjoyed this. I am not sure I came out less confused than when I went in, on where I stand. But I guess that's the point. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks, Meredith... I'm really enjoying your blog as well!
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