inspiration drawn

So far, my "Year of the Yes" has been quite successful.  I find myself keeping accountability with my inner child, which is a surprise to me because I thought that, without a doubt, I'd have to be pushed a bit after the holidays.  My inner determination is impressing me, and I find that I am drawing inspiration from the most unexpected places, as well as some old favorites.

I was throwing around some of the things I have been focusing on- YOTY, inspiration, goals, resolutions, plans- and started laughing out loud at how simple it all had really become.  For the first time in a long time, I'm on the same page with myself! As oddly amusing as that statement is, it speaks volumes as to where my life was a year ago.  Learning to listen to yourself, and glance in the mirror once in a while, will keep you in check more than I'd like to have admitted. along the way, but gladly admit and promote in this brisk month of January. 

Where should I look for inspiration?  Should I even go looking for it?  Let's be honest, when we look for something, it tends to hide from us.  It is always when we are focused on something completely separate that we are presented a random addition to our lives.  Looking for love? Get a hobby, because the more you head out to online dating and bars, the less likely you are to find your soulmate.  Or at least that is how life has lead us to believe things work.  Often times I sit down with my paints in hand and stare at that canvas... and wait. Even when I do finally put that sweet, saturated acrylic on the stretched canvas, I am more than likely not thrilled with the result.  Conversely, when inspiration strikes me at will, I find the results are ten-fold what I could have hoped for and I feel as though I truly gave birth to a tangible emotion.  I willingly admit that you cannot rest on your laurels awaiting inspiration for too long, as life will surely pass you by.  I figure the best balance of inspiration is a mixture of natural and self-obtained: allow inspiration to come naturally, and when feeling a drought, change things up and find something new to be inspired by. 

I've discovered knowing what works in your life and what doesn't can be inspiration enough.  Whether it is a job, a relationship, an area of study, or even just the way you are leading your own life: If it isn't working, it isn't working.  We try to force things, as a society and as individuals, to work because we've been taught to "stick it out".  Unhappiness is derived from this very mentality, though I think it is equally drawn from being unhappy with oneself, but that's another entry. However, I must make the argument (I love arguing with myself) that frivolity with your career, relationships and the like is as dangerous (if not more so) than remaining locked into unhappiness.  We should not take for granted the beautiful things in life that aren't easy, free and perfect.  Without the rain and bite in Winter, we would not appreciate the feeling of the sun bathing us in the Spring. The same is true in every aspect of life:

sobriety & intoxication
love & fighting
single & involved
productivity & relaxation
newness & comfort
change & stability
adulthood & young at heart

I enjoy all of these things in their own right, just as I do my own dichotomy. From this comfort and loving who I am, I can say that my inspiration is solid right now.  I'm inspired to better myself, to help others where I can, to create, to love, to take chances, and to bring inspiration to others if I am able.  I thank everyone in my life who is bringing inspiration to my doorstep on a daily basis... Those who are making "Year of the Yes" a reality, you also have my appreciation.  There are many, many big things coming up and you will have been a generous part of making this life of mine something to be reckoned with.

Cheers.
xx.a

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln 

"Man is the artificer of his own happiness." -Henry David Thoreau