At the end of every year we tend to take a look back, short sighted, at the twelve months that we think made up a chapter in our lives. In a sense, they did, however those twelve months were very much a fraction of a larger chapter in our lives. We, as a society, often forget to look at the larger chapter until there is a '9' at the end of the year with which we date our checks (who uses checks anymore?). This year is a very special year for me in closing. I find myself truly signing escrow papers on massive parts of my life, and with a full heart, keeping the pen I signed them with as souvenir. I've been back and forth across this country, only once for myself, and yet I feel I haven't moved forward in quite some time. I was once a progressive human being, surpassing expectations and rocking other people's worlds with the bat of an eyelash. This was a time when I loved myself, which enabled me to love others even more. This new place that I have been residing in I did not love myself like I used to; not because I wasn't a good person or because I was an unhappy person- but because I wasn't myself. This ends immediately.
I inherited my compassion from my mother- and for that I thank her- as I feel better in my core when I can bring warmth to another's soul. I got my passion for life from my father- and for that I thank him- as I find joy in the simplest of things: surprises, sunsets, good beer, laughter, music, inside jokes and so much more. From each person in my life- family and friends- I have gained something from. It would take me pages to go through everyone, but rest assured I am thankful and you will get a big hug and kiss from me in the very near future.
I have returned back to this person I used to be in the last few months, but a better version of myself. I love harder, forgive quicker, take no prisoners, take no bullshit, hope for the best, prepare for the worst, stopped punishing myself, hug longer, and have realized the value of myself. I have always put others first and it has gotten me nowhere in said relationships. Perhaps finding this balance will put me exactly where I need to be. If not, then it's another adventure of self-discovery and stories to tell in a rocking chair on a front porch, one day.
That being said, 2011 is "The Year of the Yes" where I will be saying "yes" to just about everything physically and financially possible. As mentioned in one of my previous posts, I feel as though saying "yes" lead me to exactly where I needed to be and who I needed to connect with. Seeing as my priorities and goals have almost all shifted- be it bigger, better, simpler, sweeter or crazier- I might as well follow opportunities and get back on whatever track it is I am supposed to be on. It's time for me to rock some worlds again, and I could not be more excited and ready. Watch out, 2011, I am making this the "Year of the Win" as well!
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah & Happy New Year to everyone, you are all loved and missed greatly. Make this your year...
-Aristotle
